One Week of PDXcess, One Bazillion Calories

I spent a week with the team members of PDXcess in Portland, and what has been declared as “our all time career high score”.  It may not be possible to reach the levels of excessive indulgence that was obtained.  I would again like to express my gratitude to Mrs. Schmawtelle for signing the permission slips for Schmank to come out and play all week.

We start it all off with some chicky livers from Jo Bar  Suddenly im craving a dose of Allegra.  What a great time, my first meeting with SamAwesome!  After meeting the rest of the Schmawtelle gang our first evening dinner will end up being where the PDXcess team all began… Little Bird Bistro   The Charcuterie plate has a small ramekin of foie gras brulee on it that is insanely yummers, so we order 7 of the little tubs of heaven  I cant remember what all the things were we ordered, but it included, pork fried poached eggs gnocchi trout gougeres, Mushrooms and a cauliflower crepe.  We were successful in devouring it all  BTW, do not take tubs of foie gras brulee away from us, you WILL be spoken to in a VERY stern voice.  No Shushing occurred in the filming of this documentary.  Dinner was followed by an amazing performance of Prince and Snoop dogg karaoke, and buying all the bottles of bubbly in the bar.  Bubbly WAS poured on heads in the filming of this documentary.  Inebriation prevented photography of the late night hotdogs slathered in mayonnaise and hot sauce.  I woke up wondering why my t-shirt smelled so mysterious.

To begin the day 2 adventure, we contemplate eating destination over a wonderful “Fritz Fengers Bola” of bourbon punch at Teardrop Lounge 

And Foie Torchon How can we resist?  The punch is ridiculously amazing.  When its gone, so is sobriety.  It has been decided that we go to one of the few restaurants that has food for our belly in the later hours of Monday Nights in Portland, Clyde Common 

Its not often that a veggie plate peaks my interest, but these September Vegetables are all over it  Happy time comes in the form of a bowl of West Side Squid Ink Fideos  Lamb on a stick   Pappardelle Ragu Pork Belly!

Wash down with some French Loveliness. "Hey, would you mind taking a picture of that bottle of wine?"

We opt for no dessert at CC, but walk down a block and proceed to devour 50 or so oysters!  Being Team PDXcess, the night ends by being welcomed into Teardrop for a private dancing, I mean, “Schmancing” session.   Chopsticks were used for new functions and fruits were eaten without permission

Day 3, am I still alive?  It seems so, so we begin the evening with that irresistible bowl of punch at Teardrop. Metrovino  has been on the list for a bit, and its about to get crossed off.  Squash Puree Soup Amuse Bouche arrives  First course is considered a salad!  I lOVE SALAD, especially when its composed of fried quail and watermelon!  Next comes a perfect Maillard-ed halibut with creamed corn, grilled bacon wrapped figs, and a pile of shaved truffle  Duck Confit is MANDATORY!  then comes a cheese dish, Cremeux de Bourgogne with candied and fresh cherries and truffle salted pistachios.  It can be summed up as “Pornographic”

Need Brunch?  Tasty n Son’s  has got some bacon wrapped dates Burmese Pork Stew  John’s Breakfast  Shakshuka

The Saga Continues…

After a disappointing show of a food fest at the Mobile Food Rodeo in Seattle, all of a sudden im at “Indulge” at the Jupiter Hotel in PDX.  SO MUCH FUN!!!  40 bucks got me desserts local wineries  local distilleries and food from food carts, and some of the top known restaurants in the area.  Raclette being melted and scraped onto toasts by Cheese Bar  Sausages and Charcuterie from Olympic Provisions   Peaches and Prosciutto by Laurelhurst Market    Adam Berger from Tabla Bistro hooks us up with some pressed tuna  Oooh look, green balls of cucumber juice!  Pork Loin and Dirty Rice from Screen Door    Over in Food Cart Land, we devoured some Fried Pies Meatball Sliders Tamales and Bahn Mi  

Daniel Mondok and Michael Garofola with Genoa   had a chiccharon with duck confit!  NOMNOM  Why yes please, I do believe I would like a shot

Team PDXcess does next what only seemed right.  Team Meeting over 3 course meal.  First course was Foie gras with duck fat fried croutons and strawberry schmauce.  Sorry folks, "the foie gras is gone, it disappeared."  Some dumbass set it on fire along with the rest of the building.  Seared Halibut with papardelle and buerre blanc garnished with face meat   Followed by Schmank’s 72 hour sous vide shortribswith duck fat fried potatoes and chantrelle cream schmauce. 

I hope one day we can beat our high score.  But for now, a period of sobriety and fasting is required.  See you Next Monday

Comments

[schmank]

Who's Hank?

[Lisa Hansen]

Wish I had you expense account. :)